Man, I Feel Like A Gen X.

I don’t like feeling like I fit into a box. I’m not a fan of categories, and I don’t like people making assumptions about me, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t make plans around my astrological sign, my Myers-Briggs profile, or any online quiz. Don’t fence me in. Just don’t.

And yet, full disclosure, every time I hear a description of Gen X and the quirks that come with being part of it, my ears perk up. I tick pretty much every box for “typical” Gen X characteristics. I fit into this category.

For example, as a kid, I:

·  drank from the garden hose (probably from several kiddy pools too).

·  entertained myself, and I have the overactive inner monologue to prove it.

·  ate a lot of stuff out of a can, and out of boxes. I still have a Pavlovian response to Captain Crunch cereal and fruit roll-ups.

·  rotted my brain in front of the TV for hours on end. Play me the opening song from any 80’s cartoon or sitcom and I’ll sing along.

And then later, as a teen, I:

·   had an entire section in my wardrobe of black t-shirts and plaid flannel.

·   submitted hand-written homework. When I did type something, it was printed on an infernal machine that squealed, and took twice as long as it had taken me to do the assignment.

·   was able to be blissfully stupid at times, without fear of it being documented and shared with any sort of network.

Please note that all of this happened with really good parents who loved me. Not to sound like an old fart, but that’s just the way it was, and at the time, we liked it.

Being an adult Gen X’er got a little more complicated (you know, with wars, climate change, a major epidemic, economic uncertainty, and stuff like that). I think the traits ascribed to us as a collective reflect that more than our feral, relatively happy childhoods. We are, allegedly, on the grumpy side, sarcastic, and a bit burnt out. When provoked, we’re capable of rolling our eyes all the way back into our heads, and we can be mercilessly blunt. There are whispers that we are to be left alone, to do our thing in peace. You don’t poke the middle-aged bears in the zoo.  

But there are somewhat flattering aspects of this stereotype too. Gen X’ers are, allegedly, hard-working, practical, and knowledgeable. We’ve seen stuff, done stuff, worked through problems and persevered, even if it was while swearing and chugging coffee. Despite our outward gruffness, we really do care, and we want to help. We want things to work, to get better. We’ve always wanted this. We were just too outnumbered and outvoted to put things in motion.

Okay, so I’m comfortable, maybe even happy identifying as a “typical” Gen X’er, with all the perks and the drawbacks associated with it. How weird is that? I’ve never been okay being a “typical” anything. What is there to do besides try use my grungy superpowers for good? I’m choosing to focus on how I’d like those who come after me to see me. How can I make my presence an asset, instead of an enigma or, dare I say it, a burden? When younger generations are finished marvelling at how I can sing along to a variety of Sesame Street songs or how I once had chickenpox and a mullet/spiral perm at the same time, what can I offer?

I think I’ve got it.

I want to be seen as Valerie from “The Princess Bride”, and yes, I know this is a very Gen X’ish movie from which to draw. Valerie (“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”), along with her long-term life mate Magic Max, has built a knobbly, remote home in the forest, where they keep to themselves. They’re both loud and crusty, skeptical of anyone who bothers to visit, because they’ve seen some serious kaka in their time. But they know stuff, and they’re fixers. They’ve been dismissed, and are consequently defensive and skeptical, but in the end, they want to lend a hand (as long as it’s for the right reasons). They’ll even chocolate coat their solutions, to make them a little more palatable.

I dearly hope this is how millennials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha, and anyone else who comes along perceives us. We’re here to do good. We’ve been trying to do good for a long, long time. If they can get past the snark and the weariness, I think they’ll find us quite empathetic and willing to lend a hand.

Gen X is usually okay cleaning up messes without arguing excessively about who made them. We love our satire (oh, how we love it), but in the end, we know that what’s done is done, and that while it’s fun to poke fun at the powers that be, it’s more important to get on with setting things right again. I don’t feel at all sad that things aren’t what they used to be, because what they used to be was hard and frustrating. I don’t want things to be worse, or even just the same, for the next bunch. I’m cool learning new vocabulary, seeing things through different lenses, and trying out new ways of being. I may knit my brows and heave heavy sighs, but I don’t judge or dismiss.

I don’t feel obsolete as a Gen X, or like my generation missed its shot. I don’t even feel old. I also don’t feel the need for us to take over and call the shots, to be respected and revered as elders. I think we’re used to buzzing away behind the scenes, and that we’re satisfied playing a supporting role, being silent partners, going uncredited, as long as we see things happening, changing, improving.

I’m comfortable living out this stereotype, and I feel like, with everything that’s going on right now, it may be time to put it to good use. If you need me, I’ll be over here, a willing mind and extra set of hands, drinking from the hose and waiting.